Things are lightening a little today. I went to dinner with some friends last night and said some things out loud that helped me be clearer about what's causing the darkness. There's more to be said, and I will do that soon.
This morning, I got up and did the five-mile maintenance run. Doesn't that just sound fabulous?! Yeah, it makes me smile just to call a five-mile run "maintenance." Saturday, I'll make the first attempt at 10 miles. The possibility of finishing a half-marathon (13.1 miles) was real enough today that I registered for the one we're planning to run in December. When I clicked on the page for registration, an option to create a fundraising page was offered. The proceeds from the race are going to a local (in the city where the race is being held) children's hospital that offers its care free of charge to the families of the children who require it.
SFW was a patient in this hospital when he was a child. He saw doctors at the hospital yearly for a variety of the conditions he lives with, until he turned 18. In a few days, he will celebrate his 20th birthday. I accompanied him on a number of his appointments at the hospital. I was skeptical, certain there had to be strings attached to the whole "free" thing, but there are none. From the minute you walk in the doors of the hospital, all attention is given to the child's care and recovery. Money is never mentioned. Never.
So, I decided to set up a pledge page. I hate fundraising, but this is as easy as it gets. For one, I really, really believe in this cause. For another, I need a way to honor the child/man I love but can no longer see. And for yet another, I need a meaningful way to celebrate the accomplishment that running a half-marathon represents. I am not the same person I was two years ago. So much has changed for the better, and while there is still pain from all that I've lost, I have a good life. A very good life.
I invite you all, without an ounce of self-consciousness, to join me in this celebration. If you'd like to make a donation, go here. Regardless, I hope you'll join me in celebrating all that has happened in the last couple of years. I have so much to be grateful for!