Lost

I called in sick today. I'm completely exhausted from all that's happened this past week. I got up at the usual time and when I got back from the morning run, I sat down on the bed and just stared into space. I called my boss and told him I'd be in tomorrow, went out for breakfast, soaked in a hot bath, and went back to bed where I've stayed most of the day. The NCAA tournament has been a nice distraction.

I feel lost right now. I don't know what I expected to happen after I told my mom, but this isn't it. I'm sad, but I can't name the sadness. I have moments of doubt and fear, which confuse the hell out of me. I guess I thought that once I told her, the reality that it was done would give me a sense of closure and hopefulness about the future, particularly since her response was more positive than I'd expected. But I don't feel any of those things right now. I just feel weird.

Is this normal?

I just called my mom. We normally talk a couple of times a week, never very long, but today's call was less than two minutes. She had nothing to say except to give short answers to my questions. She was anxious and distant, annoyed that I called. I'm not surprised, but it still worries me.