Thursday, March 08, 2007

The thing I have to do

Okay, here's the deal. It's time. It's time for me to take the one last really big step for me to keep my life on the path it's headed. I am going to my mom's with plans to come out to her tomorrow. I'll be there until Sunday morning, at which point I will get in my car, breathe a heavy, heavy sigh of relief, probably cry a lot, and get home in time for church, where I will likely cry some more. Then I'll have lunch with my small group co-facilitator and get my mind off of it, and later in the evening on Sunday I'll go to a concert with a friend and keep my mind off of it.

This has been a long time coming. I'm convinced it's time to do it now. I'm ready for the relief having it done will provide, but I am very nervous about the next two days. How nervous am I? I'm eating a lot of junk food. I can't concentrate. I have a crazy rash on my neck. And, I've barely slept for the past four nights.

I just want it over with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ETA: You can bet I won't be taking this article (via LutheranChik) with me when I go. To think, leaders in the denomination of my youth would have encouraged my mom to have me genetically altered so that I would be heterosexual! I'm speechless....

29 comments:

JM said...

Dude! That's so scary/brave/stressful/awesome. You can do it.

Linda (FM) said...

I really don't want to chicken out! I can't chicken out!

Songbird said...

I am so proud of you!
You can do anything, Linda.

JM said...

Don't chicken out! I won't take you to Yosemite if you chicken out!

JM said...

And seeker won't send you the traditional pie!

Linda (FM) said...

Oh, now that's brutal. Holding Yosemite over my head! ;-) And the pie? Not the pie!

Linda (FM) said...

What kind of pie?

Linda (FM) said...

And can someone explain to me why every inch of my body itches when I get this stressed out?

JM said...

Yes. It's from the stress.

:)

Linda (FM) said...

:-) Thank you Dr. JM.

Chris said...

hugs and love

seeker said...

Ditto all of what JM said and no matter what happens this weekend, I'm proud of you. :)

As for pie, I usually send my favorite, Key Lime, but I recently had a chocolate silk pie that was fabulous. Or maybe you'd prefer a Weebl and Bob pie.

cheesehead said...

We love you.

No matter what.

Songbird said...

You get a pie for coming out?

Linda (FM) said...

Thanks, everyone! It helps knowing you're with me.

Seeker- How about both? :-)

Songbird- Usually it's a cake, I think, but since Seeker is buying, it's pie. Seeker doesn't like cake.

Rev Dr Mom said...

Prayers and good thoughts for you this weekend, Linda.

TNQR Rev said...

Prayers form NE Ohio. And is the pie thing just a regional tradition? I never got a pie :(

Phantom Scribbler said...

Wow, Linda! Thinking about you this weekend. And thinking about pie....

Kathryn said...

I was at a blogger meet today with someone else who cares about you, and (neither of us having read this) we were both sending you lots of love and feeling proud of all you've achieved in the past year....And now I'm even prouder of you, and praying determinedly for you too.
Would send pie from here, but susepct the crumbs would not be worthy of your courage!

jo(e) said...

I am sending prayers and energy and warm thoughts all the way from London.

You can do this!

Marie said...

I've been thinking of you all day. I know you'll be great and I know that you can do this from your place of remarkable strength and courage! And then there's the pie...

Lots of love!

Lucy said...

You rock. Good luck!

Terminaldegree said...

Good luck, Linda!
{{{hugs}}}

PPB said...

good predestination.

Rev Dr Mom said...

Amd that article is appalling!!!

Sue said...

I'm sending prayers and deep peace your way. You can do it. You can do anything!

J said...

T and I are holding our breathes, and we have chocolate lava cake waiting for you.

KLee said...

Man -- if I'd known there was pie involved... :)

I'm proud of you for taking such a huge step. I know it's going to be so hard for you, but you have to be true to yourself. Why deny what you are, and how you feel? It makes you no less of a wonderful person, and I hope your mom is aware of that.

You are such a great person. I wish that you didn't feel such stress over coming out, and I hope your talk goes well. Regardless of what happens, we will always care about you, and support you.

We love you. (And we'd love you even more if you'd share that pie. :)

SassyFemme said...

Thinking of you and hoping that all is going well.