Sunday, January 06, 2008

Ambiguity (or How I decided to join the convent)

I'm reading a book entitled Just Good Friends right now. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. A friend brought it to me to read after reading my New Year's Day post about my goals for the year.

I find myself saying "we're just good friends" a lot these days. And the response is always that knowing smirk and cocked head of disbelief. But, it's true. L. spent the weekend here, just as I did at her place last weekend. People make assumptions about that, which aren't true, but I'm okay with that. Mostly.

It's all a lesson in greater tolerance of ambiguity for me. Expectations are clear. God knows we've talked it to death, but the future is ambiguous and that's both hopeful and painful.

I think I'll become a nun. Maybe if I could close off the possibility of one outcome, then I could be more open to the fuller experience of friendship that's being offered to me.

Yeah, that would make things less ambiguous. :)

8 comments:

JM said...

Wait. I've told you my nun stories, right? :)

Linda said...

Yes, you and nearly every other Catholic or formerly Catholic friend I've ever had. Clearly joining a convent won't make things any better! ;)

I've decided moving to Alaska is the answer! :)

Phantom Scribbler said...

In high school I used to swear that I was going to become the first Jewish nun.

When it was clear that wasn't going to work out, I swore I'd join the French Foreign Legion instead.

JM said...

Ok good. As long as you're fully informed, that's all that matters to me.

I can get behind Alaska, though!

Linda said...

Does the French Foreign Legion accept women? That could be an alternative to Alaska. Yeah!

seeker said...

JM, I don't know the nun stories. Do share.

Yankee, Transferred said...

Don't do it. I beg you. (wink)

What Now? said...

For about a year in grad school, I was really interested in convents and kept daydreaming about being a nun, even though it was clear to me that i wasn't called to that life but rather wanted the security and sureness of having closed off other possibilities -- clearly not the best reason for pursuing a vocation!