An announcement will be made at the seminary some time early tomorrow. I was not offered the job, and the other candidate has accepted. It's the right decision. I don't claim to understand all of the reasons why it is right, particularly why it is right for me, but I believe with all of my heart the right person was chosen. I trust that, in time, why it is right for me will become clearer.
I looked back over the list of things I knew in my soul the day before I started interviewing. Every one of them is as true today as it was three weeks ago. It feels pretty good to say that.
I am taking the day off from work tomorrow and heading out to a local monastery for a day of prayer and reflection. I have this deep sense that something is waiting to be born in my life. It's hard to explain. I don't know what it is, but I think I have some grasp of what I have to do to help it gestate and grow. My hope is that the time tomorrow will help it take greater shape and form, for me to see with a tad more clarity what awaits. My expectation, though, is simply to be faithful to do what I know works, whatever the outcome may be tomorrow or in the future.
Make no mistake, I have cried and felt the disappointment of not getting this job. I've had moments when I've been tempted to catastrophize and give this event far more weight than it deserves in my life. Yet, I have gone through this process from a position of hard-won health, and I can't even begin to describe the difference that makes. No single event in the past few months has proven to me with greater certainty that the changes I've experienced this past year are real and for good. I'm not the same person. Not by a long shot. That's something to celebrate!