For the past year, I've done a pretty good job of celebrating the changes and progress toward health, but there are days when it just isn't enough and I get discouraged and frustrated. Today has been one of those days. I'll spare you the litany of patience lost. It's mostly the same stuff...finances, not making much progress on improving my fitness level, not having the guts to take some risks socially, not having much to show for my efforts at work, being too self-centered...blah, blah, blah. Nothing new.
All of this leaves me open to let jealousy creep in and I hate it when I start feeling jealous of others. I have no reason to do that. I know no good comes of it, but it's all just part of the magical thinking that I slip into when I'm frustrated with where I am and feel stuck.
Which I guess is really the whole point...I feel stuck. I wish I knew how to let myself off the hook and be okay with the progress I'm making and just patiently keep looking for the next step, not overwhelming myself with unrealistic expectations.
I suppose most of the time I can do that pretty well, but tonight I'm struggling, but it's time to stop and just figure out what I can do to get unstuck.