Sunday, May 13, 2007

Mother's Day at Small Town Middle-America Baptist Church

So I went to church with my mom today. It was Mother's Day. I didn't get to my mom's until 5:00 last night. If I was going to spend any time with her this weekend, I had to. I'm really glad I did though, because I learned a lot.

Take, for example, the fact that God has blessed us all with extended family to help us raise our children. Excuse me, but unless I get to choose my extended family members (i.e., no one actually related to me), I don't want my extended family doing that. The 4 hours I spent with my brother yesterday solidified that for me, not that I plan to be raising children any time soon.

Oh, and then there was the tidbit about how America is the greatest nation (frankly, I didn't know there was a nation called America, but whatever) in the world because it was founded on the absolute truth of the bible. Aside from the fact that I failed to figure out how nationalism got into a Mother's Day sermon, I find it interesting that the pastor actually accused all the godless people of the United States of re-writing history. Hmmm.... I wonder who's really done the revision?

And as for Mother's Day and nationalism, I guess the pastor did realize that was a bit of a stretch, so he made explicit what the connection is. Apparently the point of motherhood, well parenthood in general, is to raise up children who read and know the bible so that they'll make the right choices so America doesn't end up like Sodom and Gomorrah. Yeah, you know where this is headed, because clearly it's those homosexuals who were at the heart of S and G's downfall. And, you know all those people who don't think the truth is obviously derived from a literal interpretation of the bible are the ones paving the way to our demise as a nation. All of the natural disasters we've experienced recently are an indication. Heck, even the leak at the front of the church today, the one that created a nice big puddle right where the pastor stands when he receives people at the altar call, is an indication that God's wrath is imminent.

Who knew?


Chris said...

Dear Brick Wall Person,
Thank you, Thank you. For years I have struggled with my faith - and those big, life questions.
Now the mist has cleared and the scales have fallen from my eyes. All is clear.
does living in the UK mean... Uh-Oh too horrible to think about.
Have a good week :)

Songbird said...

Lord, help us.
Last week I heard Sam Brownback quoted as saying the founding of the U.S. was a "faith-based experiement." These guys have not read any history.

PPB said...

I don't get it.
Oh, I'll just go find some man to explain it all to me.


Marie said...

Oh my, oh my. What awful flashbacks I'm having!

SpookyRach said...

Ha ha ha! Good think you went. Now you'll no doubt repent from your godless heathenism and start some serious brownie baking. After all, Vacation Bible School season will be here before ya know it.

Patti said...

Oh, Lord have mercy.
Just when I get frustrated with my church and think of leaving...I bring my brother and his life partner to worship. My son introduces them as: "This is my Uncle Kurt and my Uncle Micky." I introduce them as "my brother Kurt and his better half, Mickey." The old ladies stop serving punch and coffee and come around the table to embrace both of them. I think I'll stay.

Yankee T said...

I couldn't do it. You're a good daughter.